why do we appear kinda distant? i believe we aren't.. why is this going on? bah, i'll fix it.
man, still can't exactly get into mugging mode..how long will it take man..arrgh. anyway, it really pains to see that, even though i know it isn't and won't even come anywhere close..but it's still ugly. ok, so we made a chinese new year resolution to get down to serious mugging after cny..hope it works out. when we get good grades, we'll find out it's all worthwhile.. but will have to see cuz i really do not know what the future looks like..

you know, i dislocated my arm again. calling it a nightmare would be a huge understatement. frankly i do not know what is going to happen..but i believe He won't let me fall. i'm hoping for the best, cuz i really wanna get back to playing bball soon. i don't dare imagine.

it's bloody hard typing like that with my left hand..argh think i'll keep it short.. it was quite an experience at the hospital. another thing that i realised was how hard medicine would be.. ok hope i can get back my arm very very very very soon. fact is i do not have much time.. i'll keep an optimistic outlook.

here's a more accurate way of putting how i feel. basically, it's like some dream. i don't know what to expect.

well, i still trust my own sight. what i see and will see. yeah, i still trust me. and yah... maybe i shoudn't use 'still' cuz i never doubted anything. yep. i trust my feelings.

the truth is that i feel empty inside, as if i'm lacking something..think that might actually be the case. like there's this void that needs to be filled.. who or what can do the filling? whoa tough one there.. it's the feeling of too-many-questions-too-little-answers again..been here before. hated it, still do.

i don't know what the heck i'm doing...what's with the dragging, that nagging hesitation that just won't go away? what am i waiting for? hate myself for it. i've been thinking too much lately, i suppose so. it sucks. i really want to get some stuff out. it isn't easy having to hold something like that back...which once again reminds me..what's stopping me? come on i know you can do it...and much more.

i realy am scared by the academic year. i'm being really frank here. 2 s papers scare me. relax, i know what i'm doing. i hope i figure it out very soon. really want to do well in them and of course the A level subjects. not forgetting my dear gp. gp scares me. how? i'll need help, i really do. mugging starts like right at the start of the year. it's daunting, the thought. i'll get it through.

btw, i know the background looks shit now. dunnoe why lah will try to fix it asap, which won't be soon.. really busy it's a wonder i actually somehow managed to get this here.

i know for a fact i haven't been myself lately...anyone? guess why.

why am i like almost avoiding someone that matters to me? i won't call it avoidance but it's something along that lines.. i really suck.

kinda distracted these days..like i don't know exactly what i'm doing with my life..ok maybe it isn't that bad but still..it's that feeling.

oh, house's still in a mess. some sort of a neat mess.. haha if that's possible. hope it gets done soon. and it really isn't nice. not as nice as it could have been though, given the constraints ans stuff. dunnoe lah..maybe it was a dream after all.

how could i nearly forget..bball trials for guys today.. was strange felt weird. firstly, on another note, i think the girls shouldn't give up. so, now onto the one thing that really matters much to me. our team. it looks decent now. 18 ppl is not bad. some sort of a balance..jia you ppl.. the battle is not over. in fact, it hasn't even began. train freaking harde and who knows what might happen? another important thing is to get rid of disrupting forces on our team. i really can feel there is some degree of animosity from E. wth. just get out act together and we'll be rewarded lah.. at least that's the way it's supposed to be anyway huh. but then again, do things always turn out the way they're expected to? i've learnt much. anyway, i'm still not convinced despite what you have said. it still doesn't explain. no, it doesn't.

man, this must be the most i've written forever. when all i wanted to do when i got home was to sleep sleep sleep. and not care about homework today. think i can only manage the second now.. beaaah. night ppl, it's been a strange day. and it's been a surreal week, i hate the distance. i really really hope i'm just imagining the distance. i want to wake up to a better morning. though i know that's hard. haha, have a good time ppl.. i hope all things go fine. i'm scared, help me go through this? will you?

i trust He will provide.